Mental Health and Parenting Outdoors

Parenting today is hard. Parents are feeling the weight of the world on them and every decision feels monumental. Stress and anxiety have been piling on top of parents over the last couple of years and we’ve been operating in survival mode, not taking care of ourselves as we should. We all know the benefits and importance of getting kids outside, but what about parents? Today, nurse educator and mom, Somer Pickel is here to chat about mental health and how parenting outdoors can make a huge difference. Spending time outside isn’t just good for the kids – it’s healing for parents, too. This post will walk you through the importance of getting outside with (or without) your kids, as well as help you overcome your objections and struggle points. 

Most parents are well aware that getting our kids outdoors is important. But do we prioritize our needs for time spent outside?

Getting outside benefits my mental health, making me a better mom

We have all heard that getting outside benefits mental health. We know it can make kids less anxious, reduce stress, and improve self-esteem.  Yet, we don’t often consider how getting outside (with or without our kids) benefits parental mental health. So, that’s what we’re going to discuss here today. 

Mental health is something I take very seriously. Not only is it my job (I’m an acute mental health clinical nurse educator), but I personally struggle with profound grief, depression, and post-traumatic stress due to the chronic critical illness, hospitalization, and death of my firstborn child. Medication and therapy aside, regularly getting outdoors have been my ticket to productively coping and functioning. To be honest, getting out into nature quite simply helps me be a better mom.

Full disclosure about seeking help

Before we jump in, y’all should know, I’m not a medical provider. Professionally, I’m an acute mental health clinical nurse educator. However, nothing within this article should be taken as a substitute for medical/psychological care. If you are experiencing mental illness and/or distress, please speak to your health care provider about options best for you and your family. Seeking help for our mental wellbeing is one of the bravest and most essential actions we can take for ourselves and our children.

Trauma and grief have profound effects on our lives that continue to surface for years. Being proactive in caring for my mental health aids in my ability to maintain stability.

Parenting is hard

Being a mom is the most important thing I’ve ever done. But dang, it’s hard! I’m not even talking about parenting or caring for a child who is medically fragile with complex needs. (That’s a whole other level of difficulty that you can’t begin to fathom unless you’ve been there.) I’m just speaking to the typical parenting of typical kids.

Sure, kids can be the most precious little creatures on the planet. Their big eyes of wonder and hilarious antics can give you an oxytocin boom that’s like a kick to the ovaries. Then the next minute, your grade-schooler is exasperatingly precocious. Or maybe your toddler is insisting on being carried, while simultaneously melting into semi-liquid with Gumby joints.  And of course, no one wants to go outside.

Parenting is never easy, but it grows more difficult when our mental wellness isn’t what it should or could be.

The struggle of getting outdoors

We know that getting outside benefits mental health, but that doesn’t mean that getting out the door is any easier. Getting outdoors can sometimes feel like a task I’m just not up for, even before kids are added to the mix. Their complaints atop readying gear, snacks, and the logistics of it all can feel too overwhelming to bother with. Don’t get me wrong, I know that time spent outdoors is important for my kid. I’m fully aware that nature benefits her physical, psychological, and developmental health. Yep, I’ve got it. My guess is that you likely do too if you’re here. 

But what about when we (the parents) are struggling, especially with our mental wellbeing? Why should we push through what feels insurmountable at the moment to reap the benefits of the outdoors, not only for our kids, but for ourselves? And how do we even begin to try?

Sometimes we have to put our needs before our children’s wants if we are to be the parents they deserve.

Humans are designed for the outdoors

According to a theory called the biophilia hypothesis, humans have a seemingly innate need to seek connections with other life, most notably within nature. Our brains and bodies are the products of evolutionary processes attuned to living in natural environments. And while the theory is much more complex than I’ll go into, suffice to say–we, as a species, are designed to function best outside in nature. 

Now, let’s take into account the modern world. I don’t know about you, but my windowless and sterile hospital office is anything but a natural environment. It’s a wonder I manage to get anything done within it, and it isn’t surprising that I’m stir crazy by the end of the day. The same goes for our kids spending the majority of their time within school walls, where physical activity is discouraged for hours at a time.

Nature offers a reprieve from the overstimulation and stress of the modern world.

Getting away from distractions

Getting outside helps us reconnect with ourselves and our kids. It gets us away from screens and more immersed in our surroundings. It also gets us out of the house and away from all the potentially distracting tasks (hello, mountain of laundry) we’d likely otherwise be doing instead of engaging with our children. 

Are there any other moms out there who go into crazy-multitasking mode around the house–then basically end up chasing your own tail? Not to say household chores don’t need to be done, but more than a few can be prioritized behind outdoor time that benefits our wellness, relationships with our kids, and their development. 

Pro-tip along these lines: the more your kids are outside, the less time they have to destroy your house (can I get an amen?!). This is probably why our own mothers locked us out of the house in the summers when we were kids. Maybe they were onto something…

The longer it takes me to get out of the house, the more time I spend running circles cleaning, straightening, and cursing. The quicker I can get my kid strapped into the car, the better. Even if that means lunch is haphazard or everything is thrown in a single bag unorganized. It’s what works best for us. You’ll find what works best for you.

Calming effects

Mother nature calms both us and our kids. Well, most of the time. Kids will still be kids and there may still be tears, for reasons big and seemingly microscopic. However, there’s research to show that being outdoors helps lower our stress hormone levels and blood pressure, as well as helps us center ourselves. So maybe when our kids inevitably act a fool, we’ll at least be in a better place to handle it than we would otherwise.

Pro-tip #2: Kids are calmer when they’re asleep (brought on by physically exhausting themselves outdoors, of course). I am always amazed at how much I’m able to accomplish while my kid is napping after a long jaunt outside.

Who am I kidding? I usually grab a nap myself (can I get another amen?). 

There are few things more precious than the sight and sounds of our kids sleeping after thoroughly wearing themselves out?

Social outings in COVID times

I don’t know about you all, but I still struggle with COVID restrictions and anxieties. Logically, I know my worry is heightened by the trauma experienced loving and losing our oldest child. Given it’s easier to accept trauma responses than to reason yourself out of them, our social gatherings are all outside these days to lessen the risk of COVID transmission.

So, needless to say, getting outside with other families is huge for us. Meeting up for outdoor adventures and/or picnic meals has been a win, win, win. Both parents and kids get in some healthy outdoor time, exercise, and socialization. Hallelujah. If getting outside benefits mental health, then getting outside with friends seems to exponentially make things better. 

The outdoors offers great opportunity for socialization while also social distancing. Plus, I don’t feel the need to guilt clean my house first!

How to get outside when you’re just not feeling it

I will again preface with, I am certainly not an expert and still struggle with this myself. All I can do is share with you what has worked for me and our family. 

• Start small (with or without kids)

  • Spend more time in your yard or on the porch
  • Eat a meal outdoors, picnic-style or even while walking
  • Go on an evening neighborhood walk
  • Look up and visit the parks closest to you.

• Make it easy

  • Have a go-bag with essentials packed and ready
    • Ours has snacks, a first aid kit, and seasonally appropriate items
    • Tips for winter layering
  • Create routines (which isn’t easy to start but makes things easier later)
    • Outdoor routines help manage expectations. One of our routines is that we spend an hour outside every evening when I get off work. We may do different things each day, but my kid knows that we’re going to spend an hour outside. She fussed the first week or so, but then rarely. 

• Be flexible and try to leave your ego at home

  • The thing that helps me get out the door on my hardest days, is telling myself we can bail if we get out and just aren’t feeling it. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but once we’re outside, we usually find our stride. Very rarely do we turn tail and head home, but the option helps make getting out the door manageable. 

• Try to catch sunrises and/or sunsets (especially with friends!) 

  • With the days being so short in the winter, it’s hard to get much outdoor time each day. For some reason, I used to be wary of keeping the kid out for sunset. But now that she’s older and can eat on the go, sunset adventures are probably my favorites.
  • As for sunrises, I like to enjoy those alone with a steaming cup of coffee for my own sanity. No one else is invited. Maybe not even the dog.

Confidence in motherhood

Getting outdoors improves my mental health–period. A healthy mama is what is best for my kiddo. So, yes, getting outside with or without her makes me a better mom. And for some reason, parenting outside gives me confidence in my mothering ability. I don’t know; maybe it’s feeling more connected to natural life cycles, or being made to feel just a small part of our big beautiful world. Or maybe it’s just that once you’re outside, parenting is easier.

For real, parenting is easier outdoors. When outside, kids basically entertain themselves. I find myself saying “yes” more than “no” when we’re outdoors. Nature is full of great sensory experiences, physical challenges, and imaginative catalysts. Plus, nature can handle a bit of child’s play. For the most part, you don’t have to worry about your kids being too rambunctious or destructive (one more amen?).

All you have to do is let them be who they are, while you get to marvel at who they’re becoming. Isn’t that what parenting is meant to be?

Parenthood is the hardest and most important thing we will ever do. Let’s make sure we are setting ourselves up for success by prioritizing our own outdoor needs.

Sources:

• Britannica
• The Biophilia Hypothesis and Life in the 21st Century: Increasing Mental Health or Increasing Pathology?
• American Psychological Association

Do you find getting outside benefits your mental health?

About the author

Somer is a mama living in southern Appalachia. Somer’s motherhood journey began when her oldest daughter was born with severe congenital heart disease. Avelyn spent the majority of her 18 months of life within a pediatric ICU. Though she lived her life chronically critically ill, Avie was an incredibly loving and joyous child. After her death, Somer and her husband sought solace backpacking a section of the Appalachian Trail. Before long, they discovered their ability to cope seemed to correspond with time spent outdoors.

When it came time to add another kiddo to the mix, bringing the baby along was never a question. In an effort to celebrate the freedom provided by healthy bodies, Somer has hiked her second-born 2k+ miles. Even so, she doesn’t believe grand adventures are necessary to reap nature’s wonder. They just as often revel in mundane evenings in their backyard. The family believes it’s prioritizing time spent outdoors that’s important.

Professionally, Somer has spent the last decade caring for veterans on an acute psychiatric unit as a clinical nurse educator. Over the years she’s become a passionate advocate within the intersectional relationships of mental health, wellness, and the natural world. She truly believes there’s healing and strength to be found outdoors for those who seek it.

You can find Somer online in the following locations:
Instagram: @somerpickel
RWMC posts: Somer Pickel
Podcast episode: Overcoming Grief Outdoors