bonfires with kids

INFORMATION, OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES
5 Risky Activities that Help Kids Overcome Fear
- August 2, 2019
Keeping our little ones safe is the number one goal as a parent of young children. However, what happens when our fear of so-called “risky” activities keeps our kids from exploring the world in a safe and healthy manner? As kids grow, they need to learn how to engage in risky activities in a safe way. Their ability to take calculated risks when they’re young will lead them to make better decisions when they’re older. Today, we have Ben Hatfield of River Rascal here with 5 outdoor activities that help kids overcome fear. Learning how to do each of these activities in a safe manner will not only prepare your kid for future decision-making but will build their confidence and help curb anxiety.

Why toddlers need fear

In our early years, fear keeps us alive. When children are small and first starting to learn about the big world around them, everything is potentially dangerous to the risk-oblivious toddler. It’s no wonder parents are all frantically flapping after our kids as they innocently plod about. “Stop licking the plug sockets! Don’t climb out of the window! PUT THE KNIFE DOWN!” Having a toddler is like being on constant death-watch. Everything has the potential to hurt them and they couldn’t care less.

A big part of parenting a toddler is keeping them safe and teaching them how to eventually keep themselves safe. When you’re in the thick of those toddler years, it can seem like an unending task to teach children about the potential dangers that surround them. Eventually, though, kids learn NOT to cuddle open fires, lick carving knives or run enthusiastically off cliffs. They learn to be aware of their abilities (what they can and can’t do) and the risks inherent in their surroundings. This wariness towards potential danger helps keep them safe. It’s essential for toddlers to fear the various risks that surround them.

When fear flips

In early childhood, fear keeps us safe. But soon, the effect of fear reverses. As we grow up, holding onto those same fears becomes detrimental.

Fear leads to avoidance and avoidance breeds anxiety. As parents, if we continue to foster a sense of fear in our children about potentially risky things and actively try to keep kids away from anything remotely dangerous, we can lead them into a minefield of mental health issues.

Unfortunately, this is increasingly the way that we’re parenting. Constantly monitoring children and mitigating any dangers whatsoever prevents kids from learning to assess risks for themselves. The epidemic of risk aversion has kept kids clear of danger, but in so doing, has made them more vulnerable. Bubble-wrapping kids is counterproductive. It doesn’t keep them safe; it keeps them from learning how to evaluate risks and learn when and how to take safe risks. Luckily, there is a better way.

Conquering fear

Not long after we’ve taught our children to avoid fire, knives and heights, we have to reapproach those same dangers with them and demonstrate how to handle risk safely. As children grow and learn, they also must learn to reevaluate potentially risky activities and actions in a new light, based on their developed skills and abilities.

What was once dangerous and off-limits to very young kids can be beneficial and rewarding to older kids that are mature enough to know how to evaluate the risk and understand safety. Continuing to make these activities scary and off-limits could instill an unhealthy fear in your child or keep them from being able to safely evaluate later risk/reward scenarios.

5 activities that help kids overcome fear

Facing those learned fears head-on is the best way to conquer them. This is a natural and absolutely essential part of human development. Luckily, succeeding at this developmental stage is wonderfully simple, accessible and free! Here are 5 simple and accessible outdoor activities that help kids overcome fear and face it head-on by taking simple risks that will grow their resilience, build their confidence and conquer anxiety.

1. Tree climbing
- Conquered fear: Heights
- Recommended equipment: Helmet, tree, ropes and harness if you’re going high
- Ideal age: 4+
- Make it more challenging: Make a rope swing or build a treehouse
- How to make it safe: Teach kids to always have 3 points of contact (two feet, one hand etc) on the tree at all times. Teach them how to identify rotten branches and strong branches. Show them how to checking holds before putting any weight on a branch. Spot your child until they’re comfortable climbing.
Climbing trees and childhood should be synonymous. The beauty of this activity is how profoundly accessible it is. You don’t need to live near a national park or an area of outstanding natural beauty to climb a tree. Literally, all you need is a tree. Risk assessment is intrinsic to tree climbing which grows a child’s risk-assessing muscle very quickly. This is just one of many very simple and essential activities that help kids overcome fear.

2. Wild swimming
- Conquered fear: Open/deep water
- Recommended equipment: Life jacket, 360 snorkel mask and wetsuit (if cold)
- Ideal age: From when they can swim or use a suitably-sized life jacket
- Make it more challenging: Introduce them to jumping off rocks/riverbanks into the water
- How to make it safe: Make sure you know the tide and currents of the water that you’re planning to swim in. Know the depth of any water you’re jumping into. Provide constant supervision at all times while kids are swimming in open water, even in your kids are good swimmers.
Whether it’s the sea, a river or a lake, conquering the fear of open water unlocks a world of fun and adventure. Although, parents must still be extremely cautious with water as the risk of drowning is extremely serious. However, with the right preparation and knowledge, open swimming can become one of the most exhilarating ways to spend time in the wild with your kid. Paddleboarding is also a great way to explore deep and open water with your kid.

3. Fire building
- Conquered fear: Fire
- Recommended equipment: Firebox or firepit
- Ideal age: 4+
- Make it more challenging: Try to start a fire without matches or a lighter
- How to make it safe: Make sure there’s no risk of the fire spreading. This includes making sure you don’t have a fire directly on the ground as fire can spread through the ground. Teach kids how to properly light matches/lighter and dispose of them properly. Demonstrate proper fire etiquette rules, fire safety precautions and show how items around the fire can become dangerous when hot. Teach kids how to properly extinguish a fire and the importance of doing so properly.
Learning how to handle fire is a great skill for kids to learn. What’s better than huddling around a warm campfire, watching the flames? I like to call it Caveman’s TV.

4. Rope swing
- Conquered fear: High speed
- Recommended equipment: Rope
- Ideal age: 2+
- Make it more challenging: Set up your own rope swing in a tree
- How to make it safe: Make sure the rope and the branch can safely hold the child’s weight. Teach kids how to hold on tightly and securely. Make sure they aren’t swinging straight into a tree or over anything sharp/dangerous!
Who can resist a well-positioned rope swing? Taking a length of rope and setting up your own provides a great focus for time outdoors with your kids. If you can find somewhere to set it up safely into water then you’re in for a full-blown day’s worth of entertainment.

5. Whittling
- Conquered fear: Sharp objects
- Recommended equipment: Anti-cut gloves and first aid kit
- Ideal age: 4+
- Make it more challenging: There are a number of different whittling tools and items to create with whittling so once you have conquered one tool or item, simply move onto the next!
- How to make it safe: Constant 1-on-1 supervision is necessary for this activity at the beginning to ensure that it is safe. Teach kids properly knife handling skills, how to carry a knife and how to sheath it when not in use.
Learning how to handle a knife is a better way of keeping kids from injury than trying to put everything pointy out of their reach. It’s a standard activity in Scandinavian Forest Schools, whose kids start learning to handle a knife at 3 years of age!

What “risky” activities do you do with your kids?
How have you helped your kids overcome their fears?

About the author

Ben Hatfield runs River Rascal, a family-run clothing and lifestyle brand based in Canterbury, UK. River Rascal is all about exploring the wild, taking risks and enjoying the outdoors with our children. If you’d like some fun adventurous ideas, check out River Rascal’s free download The Adventure Combination Game. It provides over 4,000 potential adventure ideas and overcomes some of the barriers to getting outdoors.

You can find more from Ben & River Rascal in the following locations:
Website: riverrascal.com
Instagram: @river.rascal
OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES, SUMMER
Five S’s of a Successful Bonfire that your Kids will Love
- June 10, 2019
Some of my all-time favorite memories involve sitting around a campfire with friends and family, telling stories and singing songs. There’s something truly magical about a summer bonfire. Today, we’ve got the fantastic Laurie Endsley here, Texas mom of 3 and photographer, with tips on how to create an incredible bonfire experience for your kids that they’ll never forget. From how to safely build a bonfire to how to make turn it magical colors, she’s sharing the five S’s of a successful bonfire that your kids will love.

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Five S’s of a successful bonfire

Every spring our family builds and relishes a massive and gorgeous bonfire. Living on acreage outside of the city allows us to build huge fires that really make our eyes light up and our skin glow. We take advantage of it every chance we can. Over the years, we’ve packed away fun (and tasty) tips that help us have spectacular bonfires each and every time. Here are the 5 S’s of a fun and successful bonfire with kids.

1st S – Safety

Safety always comes first with kids around. Before you even light a match, you need to be sure the location you are planning to use allows bonfires and does not currently have a burn ban. A quick Google search of “Does my area have a burn ban?” should come up with your location’s burn status so you can ensure it is safe environmentally. With the all-clear, you need to make sure you have the following things:
1. A first aid kit
2. Fire extinguisher, hose or bucket of water
3. A responsible adult
When these three things in place, it’s a good time to remind the kiddos of fire safety rules. Remind your littles that fire embers are always hot and not to directly poke the fire because it can be dangerous. By assuming it is hot at all times and not poking at the logs you can ensure that the changes of being burned have been lowered to a minimum. Finally, make sure to fully extinguish the fire when you are done, as Smokey the Bear says, only you can prevent forest fires!

You can find more fire safety tips from Smokey the Bear here.

2nd S – Set up

For most of us, building a fire is not something we do on a daily basis. Before you begin, you may need a quick refresher on exactly what to do. Step-by-step detailed instructions are always helpful, which I’ve included below. For those who are visual learners here is a video link for a GREAT video on properly building a bonfire.

Bonfire building directions:

1. Make sure the area is open with plenty of open space around where the fire will be to prevent jumping embers from sparking nearby greenery.

2. Gather the following bonfire materials:
- a small pile of kindling
- twelve or so medium width logs, roughly 5 inches across
- four large width logs, roughly 7 inches across
- two short thick logs
- a collection of longer medium logs, roughly 3 feet long (you will use the longer logs to build vertical frame of the blaze.)
- newspaper or fire starter
- fireplace matches or a long-stemmed BBQ lighter (a smaller lighter or matches will work but you will have to get up-close and friendly with the structure when setting the blaze
3. Now we build! First, place a small amount of kindling in a pile. On two sides of the kindling place two of the large logs. Then, top with the medium-width logs to make a crisscross pattern (this will be 3 logs tall). Pack the newspaper or firestarter into the small spaces between the medium sized logs. Add the rest of the medium logs continuing the lattice pattern until you are out of logs.

4. Place the two larger logs perpendicular to the two large logs at the bottom to hold your pile in place. The two short logs will be the top of the stack, becoming your fuel as the fire burns. Lastly, take the longer medium logs and place them standing up all around your stack like a teepee, this is what gives you your traditional bonfire look!

5. When it’s all ready, reach in and very carefully light the newspaper and kindling in the middle of your stack with the lighter and get the fire started!

3rd S – S’mores!

Making s’mores is my favorite bonfire “S.” Those amazing marshmallow treats are perfect for bonfires. You will need sticks sturdy enough to last when they are close to or in the fire. Search for s’mores roasting sticks in the nearby woods or you can always buy some durable reusable ones.

I’m pretty sure that everyone loves s’mores! The traditional s’mores are hard to beat, but there are so many variations to make your s’more perfect. Don’t like milk chocolate? Use dark chocolate! Want a little mint flavor? Add an Andes mint to your s’more. Nutella is a tasty alternative to the traditional Hershey bar if you want to take it up a notch. Feeling really crazy? Swap that graham cracker for a chocolate chip cookie or a donut! My favorite option for little kids is to use a waffle ice cream cone to house their s’more and keep it all contained!

4th S – Smiles

Building a bonfire is sure to get little ones out in the open air and excited about being unplugged, present and outside. So, it is immensely important that we bring on the smiles. Sometimes fun takes proper planning and other times its spontaneous. If you have trouble with coming up with spontaneous fun, don’t worry, there are plenty of planned activities for bonfire fun. Here are a few fun ways we make bonfires extra awesome!

Treats – If chocolate and gooey yumminess of s’mores isn’t your thing, try roasting hotdogs, making popcorn, grilling corn on the cob, baking potatoes or fire-roasting pineapple as a treat.

Stargazing – When bonfiring on a clear night, stargazing is a terrific way to throw a little learning into the mix! Stargazing is perfect for when you want to utilize your time away from city lights by fitting all the outdoor activities you can in at one time. I love the old school book method of learning the constellations and suggest the following books:
- The Usborne Book of Astronomy & Space
- Glow-In-The-Dark Constellations: A Field Guide for Young Stargazers by C.E. Thompson & Randy Chewning
Sparklers – Sparklers are so much fun for kids! They come in a ton of different colors and are cheap! They can be usually be found at your local party or wedding store year round. On a non-windy night, sparklers are always a crowd pleaser.

Songs and Stories – Telling stories and singing campfire songs are a wonderful way to pass down personal and cultural history in a memorable way. Tell stories about when you were a child or family traditions to create organic a bonding experience with your child. This allows you to chat about what is important to you, all while giving your kids a sense of belonging. Additionally, classic stories like Big Foot, The Hook, and Little Red Riding Hood are fun to retell around the glow of a bonfire. What bonfire is complete without singing Bingo, Home on the Range and Kumbaya?

5th S – Science

Once you’ve had your s’mores, sung your favorite campfire songs and told a ghost story or two around the bonfire, it’s time to bring out the finale! Nothing will dazzle your bonfire buddies like a good ol’ chemical reaction. There are lots of compounds you can either get at your local drug store or order online that will leave all your campers saying, “WOW!!!” and end your night with gusto!

Using chemicals to make your flames change color or spark gives you a perfect send-off before putting out your fire for the night. Here are a few options for wow’ing your crowd.
- Magnesium sulfate – white
- Borax- light green
- Copper sulfate- green
- Lithium chloride- pink
- Potassium chloride- purple
- Copper chloride- Blue
- Powdered coffee creamer- will cause sparks
- Flour- a flame flash
An adult should ALWAYS handle any chemicals and take all safety precautions such as gloves or eye protection. And remember to keep a fire extinguisher or bucket of water close at hand!

Final words

No matter how you decide to bonfire, a big traditional fire, a small colorful fire, or one just for making s’mores, bonfires are perfect for letting kids explore, learn, bond, and… run wild!

Hi, I’m Laurie! I live on acreage outside a very small town (we don’t even have a stoplight!) an hour and a half away from Dallas, Texas. I’ve been a photographer for almost 10 years, longer than any job I have ever had (except being a mom). I have three rambunctious and spirited kids who make my life anything but boring and a marvelous husband who helps me wrangle them when his job doesn’t call him in to “the big city.” If you want to follow along on our adventures and see my client work head on over to one of my social media outlets!

Facebook: laurie endsley photography
Instagram: @laurieends
Website: laurieendsley.com