overcoming fear

Slugs, snakes, and spiders…oh my! The fear of insects, snakes, worms, butterflies, bees, spiders and other so-called creepy crawlies* is very common for young children. It’s also pretty common in adults! However, a phobia like this can keep your child from spending time in nature and playing outdoors, both of which are extremely important for children. Today, we’re here with some tried and true tips, tricks and methods to help kids (and parents) overcome fears of insects, snakes, bees, worms and other creepy crawlies.

* Slugs, ladybugs, beetles, roaches, lizards, snakes, leeches, crawdads, worms, centipedes, caterpillars, crabs, butterflies, lightning bugs, bees, spiders, dragonflies, salamanders, mosquitoes, flies, moths, ants, wasps, crickets, frogs, snails, roly-polies, stinkbugs, grasshoppers, cicadas, praying mantis, etc. For the sake of brevity, we’re lumping together all kinds of animals into this giant category. And no, we don’t really think they’re creepy.

@lifewasmeant4adventures

Fear is normal

Fear is a normal part of any child’s development. Kids can develop a fear following an experience, like a scary bug landing on them, or can develop them as a result of their creative imagination. Things like dogs, storms, masks, the dark, or an automatic toilet flusher are all common fears. It makes sense, these things are unpredictable. Research has suggested that somewhere around 90% of young children have a specific fear.

Fear of bugs, insects and creepy crawlies is completely normal. What’s not normal is taking that fear to the extreme. For example, a child refusing to go into their bedroom because there was once a spider in there. Refusing to play soccer because there might be bugs in the grass. Hysterically panicking in the car because a bee, moth or fly is in there (which could cause an accident).

@soulshinephotographer@sara_mccarty

Fear of insects in kids

Fear of insects and other creepy crawlies can be one of the most stubborn fears to deal with. Almost all humans have some degree of aversion to these animals, but when a child has a phobia that leaves them hysterical, panicked or screaming in fear, it can become more than just disruptive. These fears can be dangerous and last through adulthood if not addressed early. If you have a child that’s scared of bugs or insects, it’s best to start helping them deal with that fear as early as possible.

Regardless of whether or not your child has a ‘normal’ fright of bugs and creepy crawlies, or something more extreme, there are things parents can do at home to help their kids work through it.

@thisgirlnamederin
@joanna.milcarz

Understanding the fear

A child’s panicked reaction to bugs stems from two causes: (1) young age and (2) lack of understanding. Adults who suffer from phobias are usually aware that their fear is irrational, but continue to be scared in spite of what they know to be true. Children’s fears, on the other hand, can often be attributed to simple inexperience – they become scared because they don’t have complete or accurate knowledge of the thing that scares them. For a child, overcoming a fear happens as the child matures and gains knowledge over the situation. With patience and knowledge, you can help your child overcome fear of insects, bugs and other creepy-crawlies.

@nataliegildersleeve@jennifer_martin_photo

Acknowledge the fear

Fear of insects and other creepy crawlies is real and normal. A child’s fear should never be ridiculed, taunted or dismissed. Do not talk your child out of the fear or force your child to confront the object of her fears head-on right away. The best way to initially overcome the fear is by acknowledging the fear while remaining calm yourself. Assure your child of your protection and support. When your child sees and feels that you take their concerns seriously, they feel closer to you and are more ready to work through the fears.

Help overcome fear of insects

We’ve put together a comprehensive list of tips, tricks, techniques, and advice for parents to help their child overcome fear of insects, bugs, snakes, reptiles and other creepy-crawlies. We hope the following list is helpful for anyone dealing with a scared child and managing their fear.

@mandiperdue

Keep your reactions in check

Perhaps the most important thing you can do as a parent is model accepting/tolerant behavior of bugs for them. The fear of insects or other creepy crawlies is one that is commonly conditioned by parents and immediately sets them up to continue the cycle. If your child has seen you run screaming from the room with arms flailing at the sight of a spider, it’s natural that they are going to be terrified too.

Parents are the protectors and the ones that teach children what’s dangerous and what’s not. Children catch anxieties from adults like they catch a common cold. Any little bit of anxiety you show may be amplified tenfold by them. So, as hard as it might be for you, try to keep from squirming and panicking to yourself. If your child sees you reacting in a calm, deliberate way, then she/he will be able to copy your behavior when ready. Getting your reactions under control is probably the most important thing you can do to help your child overcome their fear.

@cescapes@cherryblossom_and_carrots

Don’t flee

When a child starts to panic over a bug, offer them comfort where they are. Resist the urge to remove them from the situation (i.e. take them inside) and “out of harm’s way.” Instead, sit beside them and help soothe their distress. Try not to facilitate their urge to flee. By picking them up, you may inadvertently reinforce the idea that there’s a reason to be afraid or that they’re in danger where they are. Help them overcome their fear of insects and bugs in the present location by remaining calm and demonstrating that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

@blessnestlearning

Explain that bugs are helpers

One of the things that can make bugs so scary for kids is that their motives seem difficult to decipher. They buzz, fly or jump around seemingly at random. They fly by a child or land on them suspiciously. Teaching them about the benefits of bugs and the purpose they serve may help diffuse the nervousness. Explain how bees are busy at work trying to collect nectar from flowers to make honey and pollinate flowers. Talk about how ladybugs eat tiny bugs and help plants grow. Teach kids that worms aerate the soil and help make dirt. Explain that these animals aren’t gross, they’re good guys! The more you can help your child see bugs as helpers, the less scary they’ll be to children.

@eunicekimphotography@sara_mccarty

Use humor

Help a child overcome their fear of insects by using humor. When a bug or insect gets too close to your child, turn it from a scary experience into a funny one. Say something like “Silly grasshopper! He hopped into the wrong place!” or “Crazy bee, doesn’t she know you’re not a flower?” or “What’s that frog doing? Maybe he thinks you’re a princess!” Give calm, reassuring statements that make the antics of bugs seem humorous so the child comes to realize the bugs isn’t out to do them harm.

@robbs_rule@tracy_ann_tabor

Talk about size

It may help some children overcome fear of insects by pointing out the age-old wisdom that “bugs are more afraid of you than you are of them.” Ask your child to consider the bug’s perspective for a moment. Imagine how you might feel if you came across a creature that was as tall as a giant! That’s what we are to bugs. Ask your child who is bigger and stronger, him/her or the bug? Putting your very large child in a bug’s shoes may help them realize just how tiny bugs can be.

@briviglianco

Inspire empathy

Similarly to talking about size, inspire empathy for the insect by telling your child how much bugs have to worry about. Bugs are in constant fear of being hurt or stepped on by humans or eaten by other insects, small rodents, and birds. Bees will die after having stung someone, so they have no desire to sting you.

@alirae29
@sara_mccarty

Empower them with info

Help your child overcome fear of insects, reptiles and other creepy crawlies by arming kids with lots of information on bugs. Developing a better understanding of insects, spiders, and other bugs goes a long way toward helping make them less scary. Talk about why bees might sting or why a snake might bite. Discuss how they can lower the odds of being stung or bitten: standing still when a bee buzzes around or lands on them, not prodding or messing with a snake, avoiding areas where these particular bugs or animals congregate. Such knowledge helps a child feel empowered, and the more control they feel, the less afraid they’ll be.

Books like the Children’s Guide to Insects and Spiders, 1001 Bugs to Spot and The Big Book of Bugs allow kids to learn all about bugs in the comfort of their own home before encountering them again outside.

@halfpinthikes@sara_mccarty

Find a favorite

Talk to your child and see if there are any bugs or insects that your child likes or is interested in? Butterflies, lightning bugs, caterpillars, dragonflies, daddy long legs and ladybugs are a few relatively well-loved (and relatively not-scary) insects to start with. Find out what these are and learn more about them together with your child. Search for them together and study them. Show them how harmless they are and then use this knowledge to talk about similarities with other insects.

@noemimounier

Counteract the negative

Some creepy crawlies (like spiders, snakes, and leeches) get a bad reputation from humans. They are seen as evil, scary, sinister and out to get us. Throughout books, fairytales, and movies they are depicted as the bad guys and are frequent stars in horror scenes. Try to balance this negative perspective with more positive information and examples. Find a book or show where the insect is the hero (e.g. Charlotte’s Web, The Very Hungry Caterpillar). Teach your child all the cool facts about what that particular type of bug does (maybe it eats pesky mosquitos or is a vegetarian).

@emilyflodstromphotography@sara_mccarty

Address misconceptions

Sometimes a child’s fear is based on misconceptions they’ve heard or untrue ideas they’ve gotten into their head. Children can pick up a lot of bad information about bugs and other creepy crawlies, either through television, stories or other kids at school. If your child is verbal enough to talk to you about their fears, ask your kid what they know about the particular bug and what specifically scares them. Ask if there any experiences your child had with a particular bug she/he can tell you about?

Counteract some common myths with fact. For example, spiders do not crawl in your mouth while you’re sleeping. Mosquitos will not suck out ALL your blood. Most snakes aren’t venomous. Bee stings (other for those who are allergic to bees) may cause itching or irritation, but seldom significant pain. Snails don’t have teeth. Frogs won’t give you warts.

@bubblepicture@yana_kiesau

Manage pain expectations

Some fear of insects and other creepy crawlies stems from a child’s fear of pain. Kids tend to obsess over certain pains disproportionately (shots, bee stings, etc.). Oftentimes kids will end up psyching themselves out, exaggerating how bad the pain will be. You may help dispel some of the fear by helping a child put the pain into perspective. Yes, getting stung by a bee might hurt for a minute, but so does falling down and scraping your knee. Yet, this doesn’t keep you from walking, running, or riding your bike. A mosquito bite may itch, but so does wearing that scratchy princess dress.

@we_are_the_mcauleys

@borngirlxo

Watch and learn

Watching an insect and seeing what it does is a great way to expose your child to it without it being an overwhelming experience. Find a flower garden or tree and observe the insects that come and go. Find an anthill and watch the ants march in a line. Try going to the insect house at a local nature center or zoo and watch them do their job. Encourage your child to observe the bugs in their habitats and ask the staff questions. They might also see other children who are excited by bugs. Seeing others act calmly around the insects may further reduce their stress and help them overcome fear of insects.

@theramseyeve@sara_mccarty

Nurture

When children care for something, they develop empathy towards it, which can go a long way towards relieving anxiety about ALL bugs and creepy-crawlies. A good way to help kids overcome fear of insects is to have them take care of a bug and observe it. Roly-polies, beetles, crickets, and ladybugs are good candidates for observation. Although snails aren’t insects, they’ll cohabit peacefully with these bugs and are also fun to observe. Or start a wormery with your kids where they can take care of them and help them grow. Have your child make a home for the insect based on the type of habitat they live in (this may require a little bit of research). Have your child feed and care for them.

If your child is literate, encourage them to keep a journal of any interesting things the bug do. If they’re preliterate, discuss these things with them at an opportune time: What do they like to eat? Where do they spend most of their time? And so on. The nice thing about this project is that it’s easily disposable once it serves its purpose and the kids grow tired of it. Just take the habitat outside and conduct a ceremony to set the bugs free.

@fatandhappyphotography@smfrazer

Model appropriate reactions

In addition to not panicking when you see a spider or other “scary” insect, make sure you are modeling the calm and empathic behavior you want to see if your child. The actions of others speak incredibly loudly for any child trying to overcome fear of insects.

For example, say you spot a spider in your kitchen. Show your child how to calmly place a small clear jar on top of it, and then slide a stiff piece of paper under the jar. The spider sits on top of the paper. Now you can safely slide your hand under the paper and lift the jar. Carry it out of the room and release the spider outdoors. Handling its removal this way allows your child to see that you are not afraid, it’s not bad (and doesn’t need to be killed) and that you have compassion for it and want it to be in the “right” place.

@court_boucher via @solace_farm_homestead

Immersion therapy

Once your child is over their initial fear of the particular type of bug or creepy-crawly, ask them if they’d like to touch or hold one. Do not force the child to confront their fears in this way from the beginning or you may traumatize them. However, once they know more about the insect, understand that the bug can’t/won’t hurt them and have dispelled some of the common misconceptions, they might be curious enough about it to want to see it up close.

There is nothing like a hands-on experience to help a child make a connection when learning. The same can be true for making the connection between a bug and it’s harmlessness. Model the behavior first by letting your child see you hold the animal and how to be calm and gentle. Offer it to them, but if they’re unwilling or not ready, don’t press it. Give it some time and ask again in a few weeks/months.

@arthasmyheart

Be patient

Overcoming a fear is not going to happen instantly or overnight. This is something that you’ll need to work on together over time. Let your child set the pace. They are likely inundated with cues and misinformation from media and other kids that bugs are “gross” and “scary.” But with knowledge and patience and constructive bug interactions, your child’s fears should ease over time.

@sara_mccarty

For children who are allergic

If your child is allergic to bees, wasps or other insects, then their fear isn’t entirely irrational. They should have a certain degree of anxiety around these insects, but they also need to be able to manage the situation safely without panicking. Often excessive fears arise because of a traumatic memory. Maybe it’s from the first time they were stung or a parent or sibling’s reaction to a bee.

In order to decrease your child’s panic, talk through the situation and assure them they will be fine. Remind them that their epi-pen is close and will help them breathe should they get stung. Talk about how you’ll both manage the situation. You might also consider telling them that sometimes people outgrow allergies, so it’s possible they won’t have any reaction at all if they get stung. Talking about these things is often enough to turn down the fear dial to a level they can manage.

@alex_catches_things

When to get help

The takeaway here is that regardless of what your child is afraid of, fear is completely normal for children and parents can play a large role in helping their kids work through it. But sometimes it is appropriate to seek additional help. A rule of thumb for any fear is that if it’s upsetting the entire family or getting in the way of family functioning, then it’s probably time to get help. The best place to start is with your family’s pediatrician, but he or she may recommend a referral to a child psychologist.

@ambertalbertphotography@farmhouse_schoolhouse

Do you have a child that scared of creepy crawlies?
How are you handling it?

Special thanks to all the talented members of our amazing Instagram community who let us feature their incredible photos in this post. We are so unbelievably lucky to have such a wonderful online community of parents, kids, photographers and creepy crawlies!