parenting advice

GOOD FOR NATURE, INFORMATION, OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES
7 Ways to Ease Anxiety Using Nature
- October 23, 2020
This year is destined to go down in the history books for a lot of things. Unprecedented high levels of stress and anxiety in parents, being one of them. More than possibly ever before, self-care for parents needs to be a top priority. Moms in particular, tend to take care of everyone but themselves, leading to overwhelm, burnout and exhaustion. Today, we have Chelsea Furlong, Virginia photographer and homeschooling mom of two, sharing 7 ways that parents (and kids) can reduce stress and ease anxiety using nature and natural treatments. We hope this post will inspire you to make nature part of your self-care routine.

Easing anxiety with nature

Well, here we are…at the tail end of 2020. This has to be one of the most stressful years our generation has ever experienced. The unexpected and unprecedented global pandemic has likely added stress to your life. Parents, in particular, have had a massive amount to deal with on top of the everyday stressors we normally experience.

Often, lots of stress can lead to anxiety. I know this because I have anxiety and depression. I have to be extremely careful with myself and very intentional about how I live my life to be sure I don’t get stuck in a dangerous downward spiral. And anyone else who has anxiety and/or depression knows how difficult it can be to pull yourself out of a particularly difficult time.

Over the years, I’ve tried so many things to ease my anxiety and support my mental health. I’ve tried everything from therapy to medications to natural remedies, and every combination of them. I can tell you without a second of hesitation that for me personally, getting back to nature has helped me more than anything else. I know that many of you may be experiencing added stress and anxiety so I wanted to share my most impactful ways of easing anxiety during difficult times.

1. Get outside

Now I know this seems very basic, but getting outside can instantly stop an anxiety spiral. There is countless research that shows how spending time outdoors in green spaces is good for your physical and mental health. Make spending time outside a priority and reap the benefits of less stress, better health and lower anxiety levels.

Sunlight and fresh air

We hear all the time that it’s so important to get sunlight but I don’t think people take this seriously enough. Many people have a vitamin D deficiency. This can still be the case even in the summertime. We tend to forget that humans are animals and in the 200,000 years homo sapiens has existed, only VERY recently have we lived so much of our lives indoors. Even a few generations ago, people were spending most of their waking hours working outside.

Modern-day society has put us indoors much more than we’ve ever been, and evolution can’t change our make up that quickly. I would argue that humans simply haven’t adjusted to being inside so much. Our bodies desperately need the sunlight and we need the fresh air.

Fresh air is good for our bodies and minds. Anyone that’s spent any time wearing a mask recently knows just how wonderful fresh air can be. Deep breathing outside in the fresh air can do amazing things for your body and mind.

Sleep better

Spending lots of time outside helps with so many things, one of them being a reset of our circadian rhythms. This is crucial for establishing regular sleep patterns. Personally, lack of sleep is always a major trigger for my anxiety and depression. I have to be very aware of my sleep schedule. When I’m not getting enough sleep, my anxiety greatly increases. Spending lots of time outside really helps the body settle down at night and sleep better.

Exercise

When you’re spending more time outside, you’re also likely getting more exercise. Exercise is another thing people take too lightly when it comes to mental health. I know this because I was one of those people. When I’m starting to feel like my depression and anxiety are kicking back up again, I monitor how much exercise I’m getting.

Not only is exercise good for the health of your body, but it’s critical for the health of your brain. You need the endorphins that your body produces when you exercise. Walking, running, biking, and yoga are great activities to do while you’re spending extra time outside.

Mindfulness

Another practice I’ve found helpful for my anxiety is using mindfulness or meditation while I’m outside on a walk. Anxiety can put your brain in a pattern or a cycle. In order to get out of it, you need a pattern interruption. Taking a walk and using the 5-4-3-2-1 mindfulness method is a great way to ground yourself and bring your brain back to the present moment. It’s super easy and works wonders!

Just take a deep breath in and out. Then identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. When I do this, I try to completely isolate each of those senses and remove any input from the other senses. You want to take your time with this grounding exercise and really slow down your body and brain. When you’re finished, take one more deep, cleansing breath. You’ll feel so much better!

Sit-spotting

The idea of sit-spotting is simple, but powerful: find a special place in nature and then become comfortable with just being there, still and quiet. In this place, nature let the nature around you soothe you, entertain you and seep into you. If you choose one particular place to do this repeatedly, sit-spotting gives you a personal and intimate place in nature which will soothe, comfort, and relax you instantly, as you get to know the location.

I recommend you find a place in or adjacent to a natural or semi-natural setting where you can sit and observe. Preferably, pick a place that’s close to home so you can get there easily whenever you need a mental break. Sit quietly there, observing nature around you with all of your senses. Listen for birds and other animals. Observe the colors and light. Touch the rocks and moss. Smell the fresh rain or snow. Visit your location in every season and vary the time of day (morning, noon, night) to see how your spot changes.

Check out this post for more useful information on sit spotting.

2. Eat clean

Cleaning up what you put into your body is another way to help improve your mental health. Mother Nature provides us with everything we need to nourish our bodies and make healthy new cells. Your body is always replacing your cells…why not make sure that the new cells you’re creating are healthy ones?

When I was desperately searching for answers to my own battle with depression and anxiety, I was having many odd physical symptoms in addition to the emotional ones. My psychiatrist looked at my medical charts and told me my declining physical and mental health looked similar to other patients she had with autoimmune disease.

Clean eating research

That sent me down an information-seeking rabbit hole, and I’m SO thankful it did. After doing tons of research, I changed my diet completely. Thanks to books like The Wahl’s Protocol and The Autoimmune Fix, I learned so much about how your body uses the food you eat to either make you healthy or make you sick.

Every person is different, and you’ll have to find what works for you, but I swear by the diet I’m permanently on. It has changed my life. It’s a big commitment but if you’re at the point where you’ll do anything to improve your mental health (like I was), it’s absolutely worth it.

The importance of good food

Adding large amounts of nutrient-dense foods is crucial to a properly functioning brain and nervous system. There is also a massive connection between your brain and your gut (which is also known as your second brain.) Nature can provide you with all the nutrients you need, you just have to make eating them a priority.

Do yourself a favor and start paying more attention to what you put into your body. How you feel afterward. Are there particular foods or meals that make you feel better? Or worse?

Bonus fact: Did you know that eating two or more handfuls of cashews a day, can have the same effect as Prozac? The high levels of tryptophan in cashews help to increase serotonin. Thanks, nature!

3. Supplements

In addition to honing in on your diet, you may want to consider adding some supplements to your daily self-care routine. Every person is different, but I’ve felt best when I’m taking a high quality fish oil, vitamin D3, vitamin C, and a B-complex. Fish oil supports brain health. Vitamin C supports the immune system. Vitamin D plays an important role in brain and nerve health, and mood regulation. And B vitamins help with energy levels, as well as brain and nerve functioning.

When my anxiety starts to get worse, I also add in my special anxiety-reducing tea. I add Holy basil and magnesium powder to chamomile tea. This is a great way to calm your muscles and nerves fairly quickly. I recommend Nature Calm magnesium powder to all my friends. Watch out, though. A little goes a long way with this stuff! You only need a very small amount to get the benefits.

CBD oil

The other supplement I use on a regular basis that has really been life changing for me is CBD oil. When it comes to CBD, you need to do your research. Not all CBD oils are created equally. I’ve tried various brands, types and strengths and it took quite a lot of trial and error to find the exact brand, strength, and dosage that works for me. It’s similar to a prescription medication in that way. It may take a little time to find what works for you.

I found that a small amount of CBD oil daily helps to keep my mood level, and then I take more as needed. When I know I’m going into a situation that can be a trigger for me, I take some of my oil about 20 minutes in advance. It’s been very helpful.

4. Essential oils

Speaking of oil, essential oils are another gift from nature that we can use to help ease anxiety. Aromatherapy has been used for thousands of years, dating back to ancient cultures in China, India, and Egypt. When I’m feeling stressed at home, I can often reset my body and brain by using some essential oils. This also helps my kids reset, so it’s a win-win!

At home, I use a diffuser with my oils. When I’m on-the-go, I love my lava rock jewelry. I just absorb a few drops of my favorite oil into the lava stone and I can smell it all day! Again, this is also great for my kids, too. They’ll often ask for my jewelry when we’re out in public or even riding in the car. They love it!

If you’re unfamiliar with essential oils, do some research. Different oils will have a different effect. Some oils can boost your mood and energy, while others can calm you down and help you sleep! You can change the oils to match what you need. Two of my favorite oils that help me calm down are lavender oil and a blend called Balance.

5. Plants

You may be seeing a recurring theme here. Not only can we benefit from plants by adding more of them to our diets and using plant oils, but we can also benefit from just surrounding ourselves with plants! Did you know that just having plants in your home can improve your mental health, improve your air quality, help you sleep better, boost your immune system and increase your productivity?! Amazing, right?

Gardening is another activity that can improve your mental health and help ease anxiety. You’ll get fresh air and sunlight, exercise, and the right kind of mental stimulation. There are two main modes of attention: focused attention and fascination. Focused attention is the kind you use at work, and too much of it can lead to stress. Fascination is the kind you use in hobbies and can help reduce anxiety when we’re feeling so much stress we can’t cope.

Gardening can help ground us and help us stay in the present moment. If you’re growing foods and herbs in your garden, you can also use the produce and herbs to heal you from the inside! One activity, but double the benefits for your mental health!

6. Animals

Whether it’s a household pet or a creature you meet in the wild, animals can be a great way to reduce stress and anxiety. I’ve found that having a dog in our home greatly reduces my anxiety levels. Having a warm pet snuggled up to me helps me slow down when I need to slow down. And on the flip side, my dog helps me get moving when I’m feeling sluggish. When the dog has to go out, I have no choice but to pull myself up and go walk him. It’s wonderful because once I’m outside for even a few minutes, I start to feel better. Pets can also be a needed distraction when you’re stuck in an anxiety loop. Distraction is a great way to interrupt a pattern or cycle, and pets are great for that!

If you’re not able to have a pet in the home, you can still enjoy the same stress-reducing benefits outside in nature. I’ve found so much joy just watching the birds that visit our bird feeder each day. We’ve become used to hearing their familiar chirps and songs each morning to start the day. We love watching them visit our window. Similarly, I’ve found it so comforting to visit the large waterfowl that live in the inlet nearby. I walk one trail regularly and often see the birds in their favorite spots. It’s wonderful to sit and watch them. It’s another activity that can help you embrace the present moment and stop the cycle of worrying. I’m not going to lie… I’m that person on the trails speaking out loud to each creature along the way. I always greet them with a “Hello, friend” and thank them for visiting with me. Yes, I do also say goodbye when I move on. (You talk to wild animals too, don’t you? It’s okay. I won’t tell.)

Check out this post for more info on the benefits of raising kids around animals.

7. Water

Get in the water! I know it sounds extremely cliché to say take a bath, but TAKE A BATH. Or a shower. Or even go for a swim, if that’s an option for you. The reason we even exist is because our planet has water. The planet is mostly water. Our bodies are mostly water. And water can be extremely calming for humans. If you have kids, you may have used a nice, warm bath to calm your baby. It can work just as well for adults!

I’ll be honest, I was never a bath-taker until recently but it has been an amazing tool for me when coping with anxiety. It took a lot of work (which sounds weird, I know) but I had to practice sitting in a bath! I was so used to moving quickly from one thing to the next, that it felt very uncomfortable to just sit in a bath and relax. If this sounds like you, try starting with 5-8 minutes and then add a few minutes each time you’re in there. I found that listening to meditation music or a podcast like Affirmation Pod with Josie also helps!

Again, I know this one also sounds cliché, but drink more water. Seriously. Go get some right now. I’ll wait.

Great! Your body thanks you for that!

Your body takes in a lot of toxins every day. Not only are they unhealthy for you physically, but they’re unhealthy for your mental health. Drinking lots of water is one way you can help wash out those toxins. Water also helps your brain by preventing dehydration, which can cloud up your thinking. Your brain is about 75 percent water! And 1 in 4 adults is dehydrated right now. You need lots of water to make sure oxygen is flowing to your brain and ensure it has enough energy to produce serotonin. Dehydration can also be a trigger for panic attacks, so be absolutely sure you’re getting enough water every day.

Treating anxiety with nature

I know it seems simple. Almost too simple. But truly the most effective treatment for my own depression and anxiety has been to get back to basics. Get back to nature. Get closer to the life our bodies and minds lived for millions of years, before modern-day society changed everything.

Three weeks. Do these things for three weeks consistently, and then reassess how you feel. I think you’ll be amazed.

And if you don’t see improvements, or ever find yourself in a situation where you’re truly struggling, please ask for help. These are difficult times for everyone. You’re not alone. You can find a list of free, 24-hour helplines here. Don’t ever be afraid to pick up the phone and call.

What are your favorite nature-based ways to improve your mental health?

About the author

Chelsea is a photographer, a mother of two busy boys, and a sunshine and fresh air addict. Her family lives in Virginia Beach, and they spend as much time outdoors as they possibly can! Most of their outdoor adventures involve exploring the beach, inlets, and nature trails nearby. They love biking, hiking, paddleboarding, kayaking, building forts, and playing in the sand! During the warm months, you can find them enjoying the Chesapeake Bay almost every night until long after the sun goes down. They’re doing our best to reduce their carbon footprint and always try to leave every trail cleaner than it was when they arrived.

You can find Chelsea online in the following locations:
Instagram: @dimples.and.the.blonde
Website: dimplesandtheblonde.com
RWMC posts: Chelsea Furlong
ANIMALS/WILDLIFE, FARM, INFORMATION, OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES
10 Tips for Letting Your Kids Help with Chores
- September 10, 2020
Getting kids to help out around the house with chores can feel like an overwhelming task at times. Very rarely do kids offer to clean up the playroom, put dishes away or walk the dog. However, kids are naturally curious, want to spend time with their parents, and love helping out in the right circumstances. Today, we have Creative Team member Jake Smith, Washington farmer and dad of four, here sharing 1o tips for letting your kids help with the chores. Whether you’re on a farm, in the city or anywhere in between, these tips are great ways to incorporate fun, learning, and responsibility into your chores and projects. Before you know it, you might even start to like doing chores with your kids!

10 tips for letting kids help with chores

Currently, our family lives on a small farm in Washington State where there is an abundance of daily chores. Staying on top of all the chores around a farm is no small task. Some days when I call on my kids to help out, I’m not exactly met with joyous, excited replies. So, I decided to dig a little deeper to figure out how to make doing something monotonous a little less so.

I make no claims to be an expert on the subject of getting kids to help with chores. However, I feel like writing these 10 chore tips is as much for myself as it is for the kids because it’s so easy to get impatient and just revert to the classic, “fine, I’ll do it myself!” manta. At the very least I’m here to provide a glimpse of hope that doing chores with your kids can be fun, rewarding, and will set them up to become capable and creative problem solvers.

You don’t have to live on a farm to teach kids about responsibility and helping out with chores. We haven’t always lived on a farm. Just a few years ago we lived in the suburbs and were able to experiment with and apply many of these same principles successfully. I hope you’ll be able to apply some of these tips to your situation, wherever you live and whatever the chores are.

1. Make it fun

I can’t stress enough how important it is to make helping out with chores fun for the kids. If there’s only one tip you take away from this post and forget the rest, this is that tip. I won’t lie, there are plenty of chores I don’t enjoy doing. Why would I expect my kids would miraculously love doing the things I dislike? They share my DNA after all, chances are we’ve got more than a couple of similarities.

However, when we need to get some work done, it helps tremendously to find a way to incorporate a little fun into the chore. If we’re dreading the chore or if it’s bordering on the mundane, we pump the jams and do dance silly dances while we work. We sing songs or tell each other jokes. Whatever it takes to get excited that day. And while I’m not saying you should bribe your kids, if you happen to have some popsicles you were planning to dole out later that day anyway, maybe some correlation between work done and a reward isn’t a bad thing. Particularly, when they’re struggling to get excited about cleaning up the living room…

2. Offer choices

When getting kids to help with chores, I’ve learned some days they just need options. Kids like feeling like they have some control and say in the decision-making process. If there are multiple chores that need to be done, I give them a choice. Do you want to help feed the chickens or the cows today? Some days they’ll choose the chickens, some days they’ll choose the cows, others they want to do both and we have to decide which to do first. However, we are all susceptible to choice overload so I try not to offer them more than two or three options at a time.

For many of our farm chores, they aren’t big enough yet to do things on their own, so they assist me. It’s not the end of the world if I don’t have helpers. However, it certainly makes it more fun for me when they tag along, carry what they can, and ask a million questions. Before I even realize it, they’re able to do a little more, then a little more. Eventually, they take over a task from me entirely. It’s a beautiful process to observe and bittersweet as they get older.

3. Follow their interests

Following our kids’ interests is more than a small part of why we have our farm. I’m willing to bet our kids were partially influenced by our desire for living the farm life, but regardless, while we were living in the suburbs, farming is what they played, drew, and talked about every day. We worked and sacrificed in other areas of our lives to make finding our farm a priority. A place where the kids could explore their interests and space to develop new ones.

For you and your kids, it may be something other than farming. Maybe it’s sports, going camping, biking, animals, art, etc. Every one of our kids has slightly different interest areas. Our oldest LOVES her chickens. At eight years old she knows more about birds of every type than I do, no joke. Going and collecting eggs, making sure waterers are filled, and checking to be sure everyone looks healthy isn’t even thought of as a chore to her. She loves it. Our kids don’t think about their interest areas being work, they just wake up and want to go do them. Unfortunately, things like unloading the dishwasher and taking out the trash rarely fall into this category so you may have to rely on one of the other ten tips for those guys.

4. Create a daily chore routine

Kids love routine and knowing what to expect. Every day, we try to do roughly the same chores, in the same order, at the same time of day. It gives the kids some consistency and helps with transitions. The kids now know that when I’m finishing up filling waterers for one group of chickens, we will be transitioning to filling buckets of water to pack to another group of chickens further away. They can anticipate the next move, so they run into the barn and argue about whose turn it is to hold the hose to fill the buckets that day. By the time I’ve reached the hydrant, there’s usually one of them holding the other end of the hose ready to fill the water buckets up.

Some of these chores were never ones that I specifically asked them to do or help out with. I just went about my daily chore routine, they followed along and picked up on it. They saw places where they could jump in and help out, based on our routine. Certainly, our chores don’t all happen this seamlessly, and even this example has breakdowns regularly when they can’t agree on whose turn it is to hold the hose. That’s just life.

5. Make it a learning experience

We homeschool our kids and consider our farm part of the learning experience. Farm life is a natural progression to ask questions and invite curiosity. While we’re doing our chores, we like asking the kids leading questions that get their brains thinking about life on the farm. “Hmm, interesting this chicken egg is green, do you know why that is?” “Why do you think the cows chose to eat this variety of grass but didn’t touch that grass over there?” “Wow, the moon is super orange tonight, what do you think causes that?”

Chances are, I don’t actually know the answers to most of these wonderings, either. But that’s ok. Because we’ve fostered that childlike wonder about everything, the kids are asking me what seems like a million questions a day about things I’ve never even considered. I’ll ask them to keep that question and we’ll look it up when we get back into the house. Every evening we’re looking up answers and learning together. They’re so excited about the things they’re learning, seeing, and exploring they don’t even notice we’re getting chores done at the same time.

6. Lead by example

Kids are observant. Sometimes, they’re a lot more observant than I want them to be. My attitude about a certain task is almost always replicated in my children. If I’m going to have a bad attitude about going out and shoveling snow in the dark for the fifth time this week, there’s absolutely no chance they’re going to want to join me and help out. They may come out and sled down the hill while I shovel, but there’s no way they’re going to help me shovel because I’ve told them it’s terrible either in my body language or in word. Why would they willingly want to do something they know I don’t enjoy?

However, if I make it fun (see tip #1) for myself, chances are it’ll make it fun for them too. We’ve had many snow shoveling competitions to see who can clear the most snow the fastest. The clear winner? Me. 😉

7. Let them take ownership of their areas

This tip fully belongs to my wife, I can’t take credit for it. We were struggling so much with getting the kids to help out regularly with household chores; unloading the dishwasher, cleaning the bathroom, setting/clearing the table, etc. You know, the ones you just sort of do over and over and over again all the time endlessly? We tried assigning chore charts for these. Then we tried a weekly rotating chore assignment. Then we tried no chore charts. You name it, we tried it. No luck.

Kicking and screaming fits regularly lasted longer than doing the actual chore would have taken. Finally, in order to get the kids to help with chores, my wife got the idea to try letting each of the kids have “their areas” of ownership. Areas of the house that involved certain tasks they could become experts in and take pride of ownership around. If the bathroom is clean, I know to comment to my oldest about how great it looks. If the front entryway has all the shoes put away and I can actually walk through it without tripping, I know kid #3 has worked her magic and to tell her thank you.

8. Include them in whatever you happen to be doing

Even though I’m a farmer, I still work my normal 8-5, off-farm job just like everyone else. So, when I’m home in the evenings or on the weekends I like to spend time with my family. Shocker, right? Rather than making all the farm work another thing keeping me away from my wife and kids, we’ve worked to turn chore time into family time.

Kids have a natural curiosity and love for helping out. Just by tagging along in whatever I happen to be doing, they’re observing and learning from me constantly. A lot of the time we gather eggs together, if someone gets a particularly pretty egg they’ll exclaim and show the rest of the family. When we go load haybales for wintertime feed, the whole family comes along. Sure, I do all the work at present while my wife drives the pickup, but they’re observing and learning. In a few years when they’re strong enough to help out, they’ll do so excitedly and the learning curve will be small.

9. Expect them to be beginners

I know this one sounds pretty straightforward but for some reason, it wasn’t easy for me to realize they have never done…well, anything really. Maybe because they’re kids? Like I said in the beginning, I’m not an expert in this parenting business. Maybe I’m the slow learner? But I had to learn to just let them be terrible and take forever at first. Would it have been easier and quicker to just do some tasks myself? Yes, absolutely. And at first, I would do just that. I would take over and complete it myself.

However, now I’m slowly learning to just let them be terrible, to let them learn, to figure it out through some guided trial and error. It’s going to be terrible the first time anyone does anything. The tenth time? A little less terrible. The hundredth time? They might have it down pretty good by then. By providing your kids with a safe space to try, fail, and try again, they’ll learn over time they can figure most anything out and won’t be afraid to take the chance to try. This is probably one of the most empowering things I’ve done for my kids.

10. Have patience with them

Having patience with the kids as they figure out how to help with chores goes hand-in-hand with tip #9. Like I said in the beginning, I’m no expert at this. I’m trying to figure it out at the same time. But, I have noticed one thing, if I’m grumpy or short with my kids while they’re doing their best to help me out, you can rest assured they’re not going to enjoy doing that task again the next time. I try to always be conscious of my attitude and my demeanor, especially around them. It may seem like craziness but I find at least 50% of my kids’ attitude around anything in life directly reflects my own attitude. In reality, it’s probably much higher.

As parents to our precious little children, we’re their whole world. They’re taking in, learning, and figuring out everything through us. It’s all new. They look to us to mimic what to do, how to react, how to feel. So, having patience with them means having patience with myself, and understanding the much greater goal is not to have accomplished my to-do list successfully at the end of the day. The goal is to have lived a life worth living, to have loved my family unconditionally, and to have mattered to those around me.

How do you get your kids to help with chores?

About the author

Jake and his wife Jessica are raising four adorable children on Blackridge Farms in the wilds of the Pacific Northwest. Jake enjoys any time spent on the farm taking care of their various animals and seeing how quickly the kids learn to care for and love their animals. He bounces back and forth between the farm and his 9-5 while Jessica shoulders the bulk of responsibility of homeschooling the kids, keeping the house in order, and keeping a watchful eye on the farm in Jake’s absence. While he has one foot dipped in the 1800s, the other foot has danced around the marketing and tech fields where Jake has worked as a Graphic Designer, Digital Designer, and most recently a User Experience Designer. Beyond those pre-packaged titles, Jake is a creative dreamer with an entrepreneurial streak that believes in the power of one’s mindset, time spent with loved ones, and real, healthy food.

You can find more from Jake online in the following locations:
Instagram: @blackridgefarms
Website: Black Ridge Farms

You may also like this post on Cattle Farm Chores for Kids.
HIKE, INFORMATION, OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES
Cultivating a Love of Adventure in Homebody Kids
- July 28, 2020
As parents, we all want to instill a sense of adventure in our kids and a love for the outdoors. But, what happens when your kids would rather stay home? What if you’re a homebody, too? What if you know you should be getting outside, but the struggle to get out the door is more than you want to deal with right now? You’re not alone. Today, we have the amazing Angie Warmington, Wisconsin mom of three boys, sharing her family’s struggle to get outside and how she’s cultivating a love of adventure in her homebody kids. I think a LOT of us can relate to this. Enjoy!

The struggle is real

Let me be perfectly honest. I am a homebody to the extreme. There is nowhere else on this earth I feel most at ease than in my own home. My three young boys are homebody kids and my husband is right there with us.

My love for home is so deep that it makes me very proud of how comfortable and secure my children feel within the four walls that we’ve provided for them. But I also want them to feel comfortable and secure outside them!

It is no understatement when people say that there’s a big world out there. And I so desperately want them to see it.

The problem is, sometimes they really don’t want to. And the struggle to get my homebody kids out there exploring can be stressful, to say the least.

From homebody to explorer

Let me start at the very beginning of when our love of adventures began. About two years ago when my youngest was old enough to really enjoy being outside we decided we were going to start going on adventures. Ok…I decided we were going to start going on adventures.

At that time, I had been a full-time stay at home mom for about three years. The four walls that created my safe sanctuary were driving me insane. I needed out. And so did my kids.

I knew the importance of children getting fresh air. I knew they needed wide open spaces to explore, to run and burn some crazy off. The benefits of getting outside to their personal growth and development were many. How many studies do we need to read to hammer that home?

And so we made some changes. We started adventuring! I got my homebody kids and self out of the house and we explored new places and tried new things. And for the first summer we did this they loved it! They were begging to go on adventures daily. We went all over our little part of the world and adventured to our heart’s desire.

Adventure strategy

Fast forward a couple of years…all of a sudden, my adventuring kids are back to being homebody kids. They were not so excited about our adventures anymore. In fact, most times they’d really rather not.

I don’t know what happened. Maybe, with this past year of spending so much time in our house the idea of leaving feels foreign to them now? Maybe they’re anxious? Or perhaps they just forgot how much fun we had? I’m not sure. But whatever’s going on, it’s made getting my homebody kids out of the house so hard.

However, I refuse to give up on our adventures. Over the last few months, I’ve developed some strategies to try to help keep their excitement for adventures alive. Here are a few tips for how we’re doing it and how it’s going.

Mix it up

I keep a running list of all the places that we’ve explored that I know my boys love, as well as a list of places we have yet to see. This helps remind me of all the fun places we could adventure that we already know we love, as well as all the places we want to explore.

There’s a wonderful app called All Trails that I use when I’m researching new areas. It has been so handy this past year. It lists all the hiking trails in our area depending on their length, difficulty level, how heavily trafficked they are, as well as if they would be considered kid-friendly.

I build my list right there in the app and I make it a personal goal to cross a new place off at least once a month. We aim for two new places a month, but I figure beggars can’t be choosers, so I happily settle for at least one!

When scouting for new places, I look for areas and features that I know my boys would enjoy. We are fortunate to live along Lake Michigan, so any place that brings us close to water is usually a hit. That doesn’t mean that we always go to the lake. But, when I search for local nature reserves or hiking trails, I try to make sure they run along a lake or river so they have that water play to look forward to.

Tried and true

If trying out a new place just isn’t appealing, I let them pick our adventure from a list of places we’ve tried and enjoyed. Do we want to go throw rocks in the lake? Do we want to go to run through the sand dunes or find all the bridges at Seven Bridges Park? Letting them choose where we’ll go explore a lot of times leads to a great trip.

Eventually, if the trip goes well, we add the new places to our list of favorite tried-and-true places. Those new places that we were so uncertain about in the beginning find their way to our list of awesome adventures and just get added to our rotation. This helps my kids realize that trying new things leads to finding new favorites.

Encourage make-believe

We live the nerd life. We are mad lovers of all things Star Wars, orcs, trolls and yetis. Pretty much all magical beasts top our list of awesome creatures. Sprinkle in some zombies and my boys are in heaven. They have found magic and adventure inside our home. But, I absolutely love it when they find it outside, too.

So, when they ask if we’ll find Big Foot’s house or they tell me that these woods look just like the ones where the Ewoks live, I encourage it like crazy. My boys’ imagination is one of my favorite things in the whole world. If I can get them excited about finding some strange mystical creature on one of our walks, I am all about it! It adds an extra element of fun to our adventures. We’re always hunting for yetis and keeping an eye out for crocodiles.

No shame in the bribery game

Sometimes, the fight to get out of the house and adventure can get very intense. In those cases, I’m not above bribery. In fact, I embrace it.

They’ll walk a short trail with minimal complaint in exchange for a chance to go play at our favorite playground? Done.

They’ll go to the lake if I let them bring home as many rocks as they can fit in their pockets? Deal.

Any wizard staffs (aka giant sticks) that we find on our adventure must come home with us? If it fits in the van, it’s yours.

Any reasonable promise (heavy emphasis on the reasonable) I can make that will get them to happily go on an adventure? I am all over it. If you need to get your homebody kids out of the house, don’t feel bad about using bribery. I’ll help you come up with the bribe, if you need it!

When in doubt, keep it short

If my guys are truly just not feeling it but we really need to get outdoors, we’ll keep it as short as possible. I would rather do multiple short trips a week then drag them out for hours someplace that they would rather not be.

We initially started going on adventures because we wanted to have fun! The last thing I want is for my homebody kids to dread our adventures any time I bring up the word. If twenty or thirty minutes is all we get, then so be it. I’ll make every effort to do that 20-30 minutes a couple of times a week and make it as fun as possible.

But if that doesn’t happen? It’s ok. It really is. I promise. There are days when I have to make the judgment call that maybe that day just isn’t a good day for an adventure. I’ll be honest. I get a little heartbroken when I hear grumbles of not wanting to go explore. But sometimes it’s not worth forcing them to go.

But for every negative response, I usually get an excited one! It really can be a balancing act, so I make every attempt to be as flexible as possible. There are days when my boys will ask me if we can go on an adventure before I have to chance to bring it up! Those are the best days. We’re getting fresh air; we’re having fun checking out a new amazing place nearby or visiting an old favorite. Not to mention, at the end of the day, they sleep so wonderfully!

A lifetime of adventures

My hope is that these small steps will help my boys grow up craving adventures. That someday they’ll come to me with ideas of places they want to explore. My hope is that we’ll eventually be able to go on an all-day trip where we hike across as much ground as our feet will cover. And that they’ll fall in love with getting out and seeing all the amazing things the world has to offer.

Are you or your child a homebody?
How do you encourage adventures?

About the author

Hi, I’m Angie Warmington. I am the mother of three young and active boys. Our home is in the southeastern corner of Wisconsin. I am a full time stay at home mom with a small family photography business on the side. Photography became a hobby of mine when my oldest was born and my love for it has grown right along with my children. It brings me a lot of joy to be able to photograph my boys while they explore our small little corner of the world. It feeds my need for creativity as well as capturing some amazing memories for them.

You can find more from Angie in the following locations:
Instagram: @angiewarmingtonphoto
Facebook: @angiewarmingtonphotos