Keeping our little ones safe is the number one goal as a parent of young children. However, what happens when our fear of so-called “risky” activities keeps our kids from exploring the world in a safe and healthy manner? As kids grow, they need to learn how to engage in risky activities in a safe way. Their ability to take calculated risks when they’re young will lead them to make better decisions when they’re older. Today, we have Ben Hatfield of River Rascal here with 5 outdoor activities that help kids overcome fear. Learning how to do each of these activities in a safe manner will not only prepare your kid for future decision-making but will build their confidence and help curb anxiety.
Why toddlers need fear
In our early years, fear keeps us alive. When children are small and first starting to learn about the big world around them, everything is potentially dangerous to the risk-oblivious toddler. It’s no wonder parents are all frantically flapping after our kids as they innocently plod about. “Stop licking the plug sockets! Don’t climb out of the window! PUT THE KNIFE DOWN!” Having a toddler is like being on constant death-watch. Everything has the potential to hurt them and they couldn’t care less.
A big part of parenting a toddler is keeping them safe and teaching them how to eventually keep themselves safe. When you’re in the thick of those toddler years, it can seem like an unending task to teach children about the potential dangers that surround them. Eventually, though, kids learn NOT to cuddle open fires, lick carving knives or run enthusiastically off cliffs. They learn to be aware of their abilities (what they can and can’t do) and the risks inherent in their surroundings. This wariness towards potential danger helps keep them safe. It’s essential for toddlers to fear the various risks that surround them.
When fear flips
In early childhood, fear keeps us safe. But soon, the effect of fear reverses. As we grow up, holding onto those same fears becomes detrimental.
Fear leads to avoidance and avoidance breeds anxiety. As parents, if we continue to foster a sense of fear in our children about potentially risky things and actively try to keep kids away from anything remotely dangerous, we can lead them into a minefield of mental health issues.
Unfortunately, this is increasingly the way that we’re parenting. Constantly monitoring children and mitigating any dangers whatsoever prevents kids from learning to assess risks for themselves. The epidemic of risk aversion has kept kids clear of danger, but in so doing, has made them more vulnerable. Bubble-wrapping kids is counterproductive. It doesn’t keep them safe; it keeps them from learning how to evaluate risks and learn when and how to take safe risks. Luckily, there is a better way.
Conquering fear
Not long after we’ve taught our children to avoid fire, knives and heights, we have to reapproach those same dangers with them and demonstrate how to handle risk safely. As children grow and learn, they also must learn to reevaluate potentially risky activities and actions in a new light, based on their developed skills and abilities.
What was once dangerous and off-limits to very young kids can be beneficial and rewarding to older kids that are mature enough to know how to evaluate the risk and understand safety. Continuing to make these activities scary and off-limits could instill an unhealthy fear in your child or keep them from being able to safely evaluate later risk/reward scenarios.
5 activities that help kids overcome fear
Facing those learned fears head-on is the best way to conquer them. This is a natural and absolutely essential part of human development. Luckily, succeeding at this developmental stage is wonderfully simple, accessible and free! Here are 5 simple and accessible outdoor activities that help kids overcome fear and face it head-on by taking simple risks that will grow their resilience, build their confidence and conquer anxiety.
1. Tree climbing
- Conquered fear: Heights
- Recommended equipment: Helmet, tree, ropes and harness if you’re going high
- Ideal age: 4+
- Make it more challenging: Make a rope swing or build a treehouse
- How to make it safe: Teach kids to always have 3 points of contact (two feet, one hand etc) on the tree at all times. Teach them how to identify rotten branches and strong branches. Show them how to checking holds before putting any weight on a branch. Spot your child until they’re comfortable climbing.
Climbing trees and childhood should be synonymous. The beauty of this activity is how profoundly accessible it is. You don’t need to live near a national park or an area of outstanding natural beauty to climb a tree. Literally, all you need is a tree. Risk assessment is intrinsic to tree climbing which grows a child’s risk-assessing muscle very quickly. This is just one of many very simple and essential activities that help kids overcome fear.
2. Wild swimming
- Conquered fear: Open/deep water
- Recommended equipment: Life jacket, 360 snorkel mask and wetsuit (if cold)
- Ideal age: From when they can swim or use a suitably-sized life jacket
- Make it more challenging: Introduce them to jumping off rocks/riverbanks into the water
- How to make it safe: Make sure you know the tide and currents of the water that you’re planning to swim in. Know the depth of any water you’re jumping into. Provide constant supervision at all times while kids are swimming in open water, even in your kids are good swimmers.
Whether it’s the sea, a river or a lake, conquering the fear of open water unlocks a world of fun and adventure. Although, parents must still be extremely cautious with water as the risk of drowning is extremely serious. However, with the right preparation and knowledge, open swimming can become one of the most exhilarating ways to spend time in the wild with your kid. Paddleboarding is also a great way to explore deep and open water with your kid.
3. Fire building
- Conquered fear: Fire
- Recommended equipment: Firebox or firepit
- Ideal age: 4+
- Make it more challenging: Try to start a fire without matches or a lighter
- How to make it safe: Make sure there’s no risk of the fire spreading. This includes making sure you don’t have a fire directly on the ground as fire can spread through the ground. Teach kids how to properly light matches/lighter and dispose of them properly. Demonstrate proper fire etiquette rules, fire safety precautions and show how items around the fire can become dangerous when hot. Teach kids how to properly extinguish a fire and the importance of doing so properly.
Learning how to handle fire is a great skill for kids to learn. What’s better than huddling around a warm campfire, watching the flames? I like to call it Caveman’s TV.
4. Rope swing
- Conquered fear: High speed
- Recommended equipment: Rope
- Ideal age: 2+
- Make it more challenging: Set up your own rope swing in a tree
- How to make it safe: Make sure the rope and the branch can safely hold the child’s weight. Teach kids how to hold on tightly and securely. Make sure they aren’t swinging straight into a tree or over anything sharp/dangerous!
Who can resist a well-positioned rope swing? Taking a length of rope and setting up your own provides a great focus for time outdoors with your kids. If you can find somewhere to set it up safely into water then you’re in for a full-blown day’s worth of entertainment.
5. Whittling
- Conquered fear: Sharp objects
- Recommended equipment: Anti-cut gloves and first aid kit
- Ideal age: 4+
- Make it more challenging: There are a number of different whittling tools and items to create with whittling so once you have conquered one tool or item, simply move onto the next!
- How to make it safe: Constant 1-on-1 supervision is necessary for this activity at the beginning to ensure that it is safe. Teach kids properly knife handling skills, how to carry a knife and how to sheath it when not in use.
Learning how to handle a knife is a better way of keeping kids from injury than trying to put everything pointy out of their reach. It’s a standard activity in Scandinavian Forest Schools, whose kids start learning to handle a knife at 3 years of age!
What “risky” activities do you do with your kids?
How have you helped your kids overcome their fears?
Ben Hatfield runs River Rascal, a family-run clothing and lifestyle brand based in Canterbury, UK. River Rascal is all about exploring the wild, taking risks and enjoying the outdoors with our children. If you’d like some fun adventurous ideas, check out River Rascal’s free download The Adventure Combination Game. It provides over 4,000 potential adventure ideas and overcomes some of the barriers to getting outdoors.
You can find more from Ben & River Rascal in the following locations:
Website: riverrascal.com
Instagram: @river.rascal